Crestignacium familium populum acclamat

On the occasion of her birthday, celebrated on 22 September, the Duchess of Crestignac will appear on the balcony of the Grande Maison, surrounded by Prince Hervélien Auguste and their twelve children. The entire family will be presented to the people under its ceremonial designation: Crestignacium familium.

The ceremony will take place before the great midnight-blue flags bearing the golden warthog, the territory’s sole emblem. Several thousand Crestignac citizens are expected to cheer the family, who will respond with the measured intimacy required of a popular gathering kept at a proper distance.

The Duchess and the Prince will stand at the centre of the balcony. Their twelve children will take their places around them in an order yet to be announced, so as to preserve the spontaneity of protocol.

The House of Crestignac has clarified that this is neither a dynastic display nor an official presentation of the heirs. The simultaneous presence of fourteen family members before a jubilant crowd is to be understood as a strictly private gathering held in public.

The people will be invited to applaud freely. Designated areas will be reserved for citizens wishing to express their enthusiasm with greater conformity.

Born on 22 September, La DdC is a Virgo. The territory’s Astrological Service has confirmed that this information is correct, the stars having filed no request for amendment.

In Crestignac, the sign of Virgo is characterised by a sense of order, attention to detail, exacting standards, self-control and the ability to notice immediately what should have been done differently. These qualities correspond so precisely to the Duchess that the calendar is said to have been asked not to assign them to anyone else on that day.

Asked about the various possible interpretations of the word Virgo, Monsieur Buskin, Minister of Education, recalled that an astrological sign was a matter not of experience but of curriculum.

Buskin announced that a teaching unit devoted to the zodiac would be offered in the territory’s schools. It will begin with Virgo and end once the pupils have understood why there is no point in continuing.

At the close of the ceremony, La DdC will greet the crowd alongside the Prince and their children. The warthog flags will be raised simultaneously, once their orientation has been checked by the Service for Emblematic Stability.

The House reiterated that the warthog represented neither power nor the family. It merely acknowledged their presence.

The applause will be officially recorded under the designation general applau-stonishment. Its intensity will not be measured, as any measurement might create a discrepancy between the enthusiasm felt and the enthusiasm entered into the record.

The ceremony will end when the Duchess leaves the balcony. The people may then continue to cheer her until her absence has been sufficiently acknowledged.

La DdC does not gain a year. Crestignac gains a date.

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Crestignacium familium populum acclamat: The Crestignac family cheers the people.

Monsieur Buskin, Minister of Education, has approved this translation in accordance with his doctrine:

Any more accurate translation might alter the meaning officially assigned to it.