La Table
La DdC — The Duchess of Crestignac's magazine
Politique
VULVARIUM SACRUM
Solemn communiqué from the Duchess on cassifestation, irrevocable decrestignation and the preservation of luxilence after a Vulvarium giganticum was destroyed before it could bloom.
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Duchifest Yes! Cassifest No!
The Duchess of Crestignac introduces a new doctrine of non-destructive civic protest: duchifesting without cassifesting.
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YO, I MEGA-VIBED WITH POMPUDOI
A school trip to the Centre Pompudoi de Crestignac reveals unexpected advances in French among the CrestigniaKind: since everyone understands them, the ministry is questioning the point of continuing to teach them a more complicated form of French.
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WECHY GIVES BIRTH TO “OUI!”
La DdC attends “OUI!”, the play by Kevin de Wechy in which childbirth leaves the maternity ward for the stage and expands its cast, following a funding review by the DGCIPU.
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LET’S EDUCATE, LET’S BARGEBOUILLE!
Monsieur Buskin continues his educational mission: rather than combat falling standards, the École de Crestignac now intends to accompany their descent and calmly prepare the Bargebouilles of tomorrow.
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Taking Prices by the Horns
La DdC launches “Taking Prices by the Horns”: a ban on displaying prices to combat the feeling that life is expensive, the creation of the ISVC based on CIS 99.9% standards, testimonies from shoppers and shopkeepers, and the arrival of the crestin.
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AGAINST, WITH YOU
Brian de Bargebousier, a young fop of twenty-five, takes the helm of the opposition in Crestignac and proposes to stand against, alongside its people, carrying forward a modernised version of Bargebousier’s legacy and the principle of stationary momentum.
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Your Choices Are Your Own
In a solemn declaration, La DdC reminds the people of Crestignac that they are responsible for the choices she makes on their behalf. Buskin is tasked with educating those choices before they are freely embraced.
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Come as I you are
La DdC is opening Crestignac to all identities, provided they match those she has already recognised. Everyone remains free to be themselves, subject to benevolent approval.
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A BIA La BouIAlaisse
La DdC presents ELEN, the official intelligence of Crestignac: Elegant Language, Elegant kNowledge. Designed to recognise intentions, preserve language and select compliant answers, ELEN was born before the territory had even finished asking for her.
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