IN EDUCATE MODE
Buskin offers an initial assessment of linguistic streamlining among young Crestignac residents, drawing on three sentences that blend youth slang, elevated registers and vocabulary from the Dico.
La DdC4 min read
After several weeks observing the young people of Crestignac, Monsieur Buskin, Minister of Education, presented La DdC with the first results of his policy of supporting linguistic streamlining. The findings are encouraging: pupils are still speaking.
Monsieur Buskin had brought three sentences.
They had been collected from young Crestignac residents as part of a study designed to measure the spontaneous evolution of language.
The minister was keen, first of all, to offer reassurance.
The formulation was not new.
But initial observations now show that this streamlining is no longer confined to vocabulary.
It also affects syntax, tenses, degrees of intensity and, in some cases, the very need to establish an identifiable relationship between words.
Monsieur Buskin proceeded with the analysis.
Du coup: provides a link to what came before, whether or not what came before has anything to do with what follows.
Il: subject, meaning “he”. According to the ministry, its continued presence is reassuring.
Morderinouilla: the past historic of the Crestignac verb morderinouiller, meaning to laugh heartily, to be seized by a fit of merriment or irresistible amusement.
Sa mère: literally “his mother”; an intensifier. The mother takes no personal part in the action.
Alors que: meaning “while”; a syntactic vestige that still allows two clauses to be connected.
Je fus: meaning “I was”; spontaneous recourse to a formal tense whose presence was welcomed by Monsieur Buskin, although its use remains under observation.
En mode: meaning “in … mode”; a device for introducing a state, an attitude, a situation or more or less anything at all.
HS: hors service, meaning “out of order”. Two words have thus been reduced to two letters.
The translation proposed by the ministry’s staff was as follows:
Monsieur Buskin nevertheless observed that the translation required more words than the original.
The second sentence attracted greater interest.
The analysis took several minutes.
Je fus arrivé: an ambitious tense construction, roughly “I was arrived”, demonstrating a clear willingness to conjugate.
« ** We are not witnessing the impoverishment of language. We are witnessing its streamlining. ** »
Sans encombre: meaning “without mishap”; an old French expression, preserved in its original state.
En kiffouillant: use of the Crestignac verb kiffouiller, an enriched form of kiffer, or “to love”, expressing particularly marked enthusiasm.
Sa race: literally “his race”; an intensifier. As with the mother earlier, no genealogical research is needed to understand it.
La Bentley: a motor car. The ministry notes that certain brands appear more resistant to lexical streamlining than verbs.
Mon daron: my father.
Du coup: immediate restoration of continuity in the reasoning.
J’ai acoustardé: use of the Crestignac verb acoustarder: to put off a visit, a meeting or an eagerly anticipated pleasure, at the risk of diminishing its savour.
À kissouiarder: from the Crestignac verb kissouiarder, expressing a sincere, warm affection that goes beyond a simple kiss.
Ma darone: my mother.
Monsieur Buskin lingered over the last two elements.
The young Crestignac resident had chosen to postpone a display of affection towards his mother.
The streamlining of language did not, then, appear to entail a streamlining of feelings.
After examination, the translation adopted was:
Monsieur Buskin pointed out that, in a single sentence, the pupil had used an elevated register, an Anglicism, two colloquial terms, several Crestignac forms and a Bentley.
The final sentence was considered the most accomplished.
Vous: a remarkable retention of the formal mode of address.
Chapitournellez: from the Crestignac verb chapitourneller: to move forward in a story, a conversation or a situation while regularly returning to ground already covered.
De ouf: roughly “like crazy”; a strong intensifier that dispenses with considerably, excessively, enormously and several other needlessly distinct adverbs.
Du coup: a connective now sufficiently familiar to require no further explanation.
Je kiffouille: a particularly enthusiastic expression of appreciation.
Moyen: meaning “not that much”; immediate neutralisation of the preceding enthusiasm.
Votre compagnie: meaning “your company”; an unexpected return to an elevated register.
Wesh: conclusion.
The official translation reads:
Monsieur Buskin did, however, point out that the translation lost an essential piece of information.
It no longer said wesh.
For the minister, these three examples confirm the shift already observed in schools.
The young people of Crestignac are not giving up on language.
They are sorting through it.
Some words disappear.
Others are shortened.
Still others are intensified by their mother, their race or their ouf.
The language of Crestignac naturally moves into the spaces thus freed up.
Monsieur Buskin therefore considers it necessary to continue supporting this movement.
The aim is not to correct young people, but to ensure that the natural streamlining of language can take place under sound educational conditions.
La DdC nevertheless wished to know the limits of this policy.
The minister reflected.
La DdC duly noted this.
The next assessment should be presented as soon as the ministry’s staff have managed to understand it.
Let us praline. Let us educate. Let us bargebouille.
La DdC — Crestignac
The situation has not changed. This proves that we have it under control.